Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
