my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
