I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
did i walk over a car last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
