I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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