hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
