i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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