I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
