there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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