Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Soap is not a condiment
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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