This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
