i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
