At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
