the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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