This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
