He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize