at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
