Do you still have your period?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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