sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
