Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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