He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
