ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
