and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize