I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
