have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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