They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
