I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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