she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
