How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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