Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
