Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
