he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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