He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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