i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Boobs speak an international language.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
