you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
