i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How's work?
Spinning.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
