I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
