In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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