Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
