if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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