Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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