yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
