I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
