My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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