You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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