And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize