glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
