if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
