as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
