I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
