using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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