Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
