My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
