Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
