Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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