In America we eat man semen.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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