I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
