you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
