Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
