He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
