It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
