That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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