I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize