I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
