She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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