I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize