I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
