Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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