Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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